Skill 11. Paraphrasing Others

  How do you prove to another person that you actually understand what they’re saying? The most direct way to prove you understand another person is to paraphrase their statements. Like a mirror, your paraphrase shows their statement’s reflection from your point of view.

A PARAPHRASE is a simple restatement of what you thought the speaker said.

“Are you saying…?” “Are you feeling…?”

“The trip sounds fun, but two weeks is a long time.
(Your paraphrase) “Are you saying that we should go for a shorter time?”

“You used to spend more time with me.”
(Your paraphrase) “Are you feeling neglected?”

And like that mirror, your paraphrase allows the speaker to see how effective they are at painting images in your head. It let’s them see what you see. It ultimately let’s the speaker see himself.

Now return to the world and try using that mirror.

Skill: PARAPHRASE during a conversation.

Strength and honor.