Skill 25. Perception Checking

   No two people see the world exactly the same. As men, we generally don’t remind ourselves that what we see isn’t exactly what another person sees. Sometimes we might need to get our eyes checked. If you find yourself in a disagreement, debate, or argument, one communication skill that could help is the perception check.

Perception checking is your invitation to compare perceptions with another person. Here are some ways you can invite a perception check:

“This is how I see the situation________. How do you see it?”
“From where I stand, I see________. How does it look to you?”
(My favorite) “What are you seeing that I’m not seeing?”

After you invite a perception check, remember to keep your mouth shut and listen to what the other person says. Give that person a minute to share his or her perceptions without interrupting. You might even paraphrase the speaker’s perception and see what unfolds. You’d be surprised at what you might see differently if you keep silent and look through someone else’s glasses.

Now return to the world and get your eyes checked during your next debate.

Skill: Use PERCEPTION CHECKING to see what someone else sees..

Strength and honor.