Skill 27. Stating A Boundary

   You don’t always have to be a nice guy and let others invade your comfort zone or violate your rights. You need to protect your boundaries or you’ll eventually carry anger towards others and yourself.

Here’s a simple template for stating a boundary:
“If you continue to___________, then I’m prepared to ___________.”

Here are some examples of boundary statements:
“If you continue to complain, then I’m prepared to leave the room.”
If you continue to make fun of me, then I’m prepared to end this conversation.”
“If you continue to use the VISA card, then I’m prepared to cancel the card.”

Your statement of a boundary and the action you’re prepared to take if the boundary is not observed gives the person a clear message and an opportunity to change behavior.

You owe it to your peace of mind and for the health of the relationship to let others know what is acceptable and not acceptable to you. Anything less will eventually result in your becoming more angry, frustrated, and eventually depressed.

Now return to the world and state a boundary if the occasion arises.


Strength and honor.