Skill 5: Non-Judgmental Listening

imageDo you know we verbally interrupt one another every 12-seconds during our daily conversations?

In other words, if you’re talking to me, I’ll butt in every 12-seconds with a comment of my own and generally that comment is a judgment or evaluation of what you’ve said. Like a judge in the courtroom, we pound our gavel and pronounce judgment every 12-seconds during conversations. “You’re wrong!” “I wouldn’t do that.” “You’re right, but…” “That reminds me of a story…”

So the next time you’re in a conversation, try listening for 60-seconds WITHOUT TALKING. ┬áIf the speaker notices your silence and asks if everything is ok, simply say, “I’m just trying to pay attention to what you’re saying.”

Remember to occasionally assume the role of the silent, attentive therapist and not the courtroom judge with raised gavel. Listen non-judgmentally for 60-seconds without interrupting and see what unfolds. It just might be the heart of the speaker.

So return to the world and listen in silence for 60-seconds if the opportunity arises.


Strength and honor.